Confessions of a Pesach-Making Newbie

Allow me to share a secret with you. Although, when you think about it, it’s really not that much of a secret. It’s so much less a hushed up tidbit and so much more a rite of passage that one has yet to pass. One that is not really something people want to venture out and advertise, kind of like if they still can’t ride a bicycle, or have never been kissed.

Okay. I’ll admit it. I have never made Pesach.

I have (thank G-d) been married for close to a decade. I have three kids (ka”h). I have done many things. Making Pesach has just not been one of them.

It’s not like I really ever had to. During my first year of marriage, I was expecting my firstborn and recall splitting the holiday between my husband’s parents and my own. This involved a long car trip on the road with not much to eat aside for the ample supply of chocolate and little else we packed. In the ensuing years, we either spent the entire holiday out-of-town at my parents’ digs or in town enjoying the guestrooms of my husband’s family’s abode. The latter usually occurred when I had a newborn – one was born two weeks before Pesach and another was almost six weeks old at the time. Last year, we took turns at both accommodations, but it really started becoming a schlep to pack enough clothes for so many people and live out of suitcases, even if it was just for a temporary fortnight. Especially when Pesach comes during a season when you don’t know if you need winter attire or summer wear, so you have to pack both...

I guess when you think about it, I’m not alone. To spare the trouble of making Pesach, I have heard of couples with, like, ten kids or so, still moving into their parents’ places for the holiday. There are some affluent individuals among us who move into lavish hotels for the duration of the chometz-free days. Others are fortunate to have parents or grandparents sponsoring Pesach in Florida or other tropical locales.

(The last time I visited Florida was during my single years. I don’t want to go back there. To those years, I mean. To Florida, you can buy me a ticket anytime!)

There was always a reason why not to make Pesach. I had a baby in the house. I had a toddler in the house. Another baby, etc… You get the idea. So many new parents can’t get a sandwich made – never mind an entire Pesach! I know there are many women out there who manage to do it all, even with a new baby every year or two, all the while working successful jobs and they still make Pesach. Good for them.

I am not them.

Others manage to do it no matter what life throws their way. For some, it seems like no big deal. They take it as it comes. You’d think it was a simple as getting dressed in the morning.

(Then again, whoever said that was simple?)

Still, if they can do it, why can’t I?

Um, because I tend to overcomplicate matters…I procrastinate…I get overwhelmed and can’t think straight. Enough excuses, for starters?

Wait, there’s more: Pesach paraphernalia can really add up. I still am not quite sure how much it will cost to buy all the necessary pots and pans and whatnot.

Despite having to shell out the initial investment for our first Pesach, I really, really wanted to do it last year. I mentioned the idea on the way back from my parents’ house where we had spent the Succos holiday. I figured that was early enough to give me time to start figuring things out. My husband was not encouraging.

He had reasons for being against it. Did I mention that his busiest time of the year at work is before Pesach? That is when he pulls the longest hours and has nary a moment to breathe. I cannot rely on him to help me turn over my apartment.

This year, however, I really want to make Pesach. I am aware of my husband’s inability to help me. I still feel very strongly that this is something that I must do for once and for all. It is the first time my children are all out of the house during the day (at school or playgroup) so I do not have any major excuse not to. I have been busy with various projects since my youngest started playgroup this summer, so why not make Pesach my next big project?

I figured I might as well keep a diary for the duration of this episode in my life. It’s kind of like the ‘Girl On A Diet’ column in Ami Magazine. If she bails on her diet, she’ll have nothing to write about. Writing about a failed attempt to make Pesach and having to move into my parents’ place at the last minute is not in my plans this year. Hopefully, this diary will help keep me motivated and focused on achieving my goal.